It is fair, that they don't understand my words. 

It isn't fair that they aren't able to go to school. 

It isn't fair the only book they have been taught to read is the Koran. 

It isn't fair that they stoled my heart. 

Just seven young boys, shooting at birds and lizards with slingshots looking for their next meal. 

It isn't fair that a twelve year old is responsible for 6 younger friends and brothers. 

It isn't fair that when they asked me what i was reading, and my answer didn't make sense to them.

It isn't fair that i have what i have. 

It isn't fair that I cant switch lives with all seven of them. 

They don't know what I have, other than white skin. 

They had pockets filled with rocks and a rubber band in hopes of having a bird.

They don't know what they need. 

It isn't fair that i have a heart that cares, and a mouth and brain that wont always connect. 

God is fair, He is faithful, and He is sovereign.

Father my prayer is for those boys, natural leaders at the birth of their younger brothers, smiles ear to ear, and freedom… Come down on them and use them, because on days like this I feel useless. 

"But King David replied to Araunah, "No, I insist on paying the full price. I will not take for the Lord what is yours, or sacrifice a burnt offering that costs me nothing."

-1 Chronicles 21:24

"For the sins of their mouths, for the words of their lips, let them be caught in their pride. For the curses and lies they utter, consume them in wrath, consume them till they are no more. Then it will be known to the ends of the earth that God rules over Jacob." (Psalms 59:12-13) These are the words of David, this rule applies to David. David was caught in his pride, he numbered his fighting men, even though he knew that God would consume with wrath those who took pride in things of this world. Joab knew this, but David was set on getting a number. The sad thing is that number never mattered. At one point David's number was 600 hundred and the Lord was with him… At one point his number was 1 and the Lord was with him. The fact that his number was now 1,100,000 men  plus God, was no different from David being an army of 1 plus God. So God gave him the option of how the judgement was to be played out, David picked God to judge since he knew God was a merciful God. But this judgement was only taken out physically on the people of Israel. So when it comes to sacrifice David wanted to pay the full price. Because he never paid for his sin, the people did. 

Because of my pride and sin how many people's lifes have I effected? If i was to see a third of the people in my nation die, because of me would i never forget to give God from the deepest parts of me? Or what if one man died because of my sins… to give me life? Would i never forget to give to God from the deepest part of me? I have no application… because this is too simple of an answer. But I always forget.

Happy birthday Tanner :D

Update at the Airport hotel (only place to get a signal)

today we did some outreach ministries/Medical needs to these islands out on lake victoria. it was pretty surreal. some of the people had never been off the island and it was very small with maybe 150 people living on it. it was a ghetto in the literal sense. really really sad to see, but i made some relationships with the people there... very kind, good hearted people. 

and this past week i have just been hanging out with the kids, and helping the women with the dishes... they called me african already ha. im loving it out here. 

our house is pretty great, but we had a storm last night that broke one of the windows. I love it here. 

and the lake is as hot as a bath tub.  

Sitting in Seattle

waiting to get to Uganda!

Job walked with Him

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."

-Psalms 23:4

When we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we have two options. We can walk through it alone, because no one wants to go along on that ride. Or we can walk through it with God. Job could have listened to his wife when she said, "Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!" (Job 2:10). Or his three friends who told him, "Hey your kids were living in sin, thats why they died… you must have sinned as well, just admit it." 

But in the social solitude Job stays faithful to God and did not sin. While the whole world that we know dies, and abandons us… I want to be like Job and continue to walk with God. Perhaps God wont always comfort me with His rod and His staff… But He will send me broken pots to scrape my wounds. "Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" (Job 2:10). 

Today, I will finish the book of Job, just as a reminder to myself that nothing in Uganda can shake me from my walk with the Lord, because He will be with me the entire time. "I will fear no evil."

Susa to Jerusalem

"he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake."

-Psalms 23:3

No matter how tangled I make my life, No matter how far I run from His loving hand. He is just one genuine prayer away from me. He restores my soul, from the mess that I make it. From there He is able to lead me in paths of righteousness, for His Kingdom. I cant help but be reminded of Jews who came back from the Babylonian exile in 586 bc. The Jews ran from God for so many years, so He sent them off for 70 years, and when they came back He started to restore them as a people. Allowing Zerubbabel, King Cyrus, and King Darius to help rebuild the Temple, and Nehemiah to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. And giving them the Minor Prophets to keep the people on track in the path of righteousness. Even the items in the temple were kept safe during the captivity, and restored at the end. God is faithful in His Word. 

It is sad because I read the stories and they came to life in me. But I still find myself being taken back to captivity in Babylon. Than allowing the whole process to start over. At this very moment God wants to restore me… But first I have to walk from Susa to Jerusalem, so that God can rebuild His temple in me.