"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves."
-Romans 12:10
Dear Father in Heaven, you know my heart. You are closer than my own soul. For me to withhold any thoughts from you, would be me lying to you. You know that i would do anything for a brother in need. But you also know that in my heart i like to play judge, deciding if they really need it or if by my help they will only continue to be lazy. i often find myself forgetting that i'm a sinner. You see me looking for those splinters in my brother's eyes, while i have the whole forrest in my own sight.
Dear God, come and help me. I remember when i saw the muslim nation as my enemy, dreaming of going into their land and murdering them, for the simple reason that i was American. I remember fighting every guy who disrespected anyone in high school, thinking i was doing God's work. All i have ever done, is taint the title we know as "Christian." It took 2 things for me to change my viewpoint, a jack johnson song called "sleep through the static" "The truth is we say not as we do. We say any time, anywhere just show your teeth, and strike a fear. God wears camouflage, cries at night and drives a dodge, pickup the beats, stop hogging the feast, thats no way to treat a enemy." And Genesis 1:27 "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him…" After this i saw that You love me, but You were not created for me… but I was created to worship You. So it was about time i stopped being my own judge and submit to the real Judge. You blessed America and You continue to bless us, but You is not American.
Lord i got passed all of that, you allowed me to get drunk with all the people i judged. Intoxicated in sin, i was the same as anyone else. But in that you still had your hand upon my life, you taught me that i could love anyone. Anyone who was broken, i had the same wound, i could relate to anyone Lord. The whole time you had me going to church, fake as could be. You gave me that too Lord, in order that i might see the fakes, because they were just like me.
Than You set me free from all of that. I got deep in your Word. With that i got more involved with the church. Some of the church will be my friends through all of eternity. They are my brothers, my fatherly figures, my motherly figures, and my little sisters. However Lord, you know that there are those christians who sit in clouds of arrogance. This was once me Lord, still is, and i hate that part of me. I hate them Lord. I'm not devoted to them, especially in brotherly love. You have seen me in life, You have seen me gather the wise, the brave, and the broken who have qualities to be on fire for you…. but you have also seen me chase off anyone who would put a bitter taste in the mouth. The arrogant, the annoying, the lazy. God they are created in Your imagine. You do not see the physical that man sees, but you see their heart… Lord why cant i see the heart?
They ruin things that i can see Lord… but i want to see what you see, are they building in your Kingdom? Are they producing fruit that i cant see, because of the planks in my eyes? Lord let me see what you see, give me your eyes for one moment.
On earth i can crush any man who comes against me. But i don't want to. I want to love. I want my chest to drop, i want the tension in my back to subdue. Lord more than anything i want to come home to you… but you have lessons for me to learn here.
You know i don't like people Lord. I love you, and you loved people… the sick, the broken sinners. I love them also, its these religions people i don't love Lord, and that is a conflict because we are supposed to be of one mind, one accord. I will continue to pray for devotion to You Lord so that i might be able to honor everyone in the church above myself, and not just the ones i see fit.
